After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ambien. No doubt about it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize