We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
