you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
