Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Someone shit on the floor
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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