Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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