Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
