It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dicks are not precious.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
