He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
