I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
