How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You made out with two different species that night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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