no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize