it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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