We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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