At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My dick has a subreddit
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
