Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
