i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
