My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
