your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize