16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
