there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
