Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
