took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
