I heard we made out
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize