ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
