Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
