when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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