I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
