Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
