the new term for farting is butt boxing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
