what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
