We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
