Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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