Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Randomize