Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
