who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
