Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
