I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
