the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
