if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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