I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize