I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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