Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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