..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
