it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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