I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
