I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize