But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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