I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize