It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
