someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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