u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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