we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
