At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
