How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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