respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
