I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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