haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize