it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
