super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
