You're my little dorito
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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