on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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