apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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