You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
