we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
