woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
They took my balls.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
