it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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