So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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