you have to choose: penises or morals?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
