And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
